From The Archives: The Indescribable Gift

[First Posted 1/23/11]

The moment one gives close attention to anything, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself.
~ Henry Miller

I believe a leaf of grass is no less than the journey-work of the stars.
~ Walt Whitman

Until man duplicates a blade of grass, nature can laugh at his so called scientific knowledge.
~ Thomas Edison

Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin: And yet I say unto you, that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith? Therefore, take no thought, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ Or, ‘What shall we drink?’ Or, ‘Wherewithal shall we be clothed?’ For your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things . . . Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself . . .”.

~ Matthew 26:28 (KJ)

"Fairy land is a universal retreating infundibulum, 
except that the farther in you go, the bigger it gets."
~ John Crowley in an interview

It seems so very marvelous to me, from one perspective, how many of my friends find ways and means to physically travel all over the world — places I've never been to and only know about through hearsay and other second-hand presentations. I am extremely inexperienced compared to them, although I've never been lacking for invitations to every corner of the globe. From another perspective, the same global trotting also seems somewhat incomprehensible to me and raises my own line of questioning, namely, to what end; what are the deeper motivations, wherefrom the drives to endure such obviously stressful, costly endeavors? I'm sure everyone has an answer, each valid in its own ways. Curiosity seems the likely answer, of course, and is the hallmark of intelligence throughout the universe, from the behavioral spins of quantum particles to a cat's insistence to help with unpacking the groceries. Curiosity moves us — without it, nothing would change. Perhaps vibration, which underlies all, animates all, enlivens all, is really the result of curiosity. In a statement to William Miller, as quoted in LIFE magazine (2 May 1955,) Einstein shared, "The important thing is not to stop questioning; curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when contemplating the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of the mystery every day. The important thing is not to stop questioning; never lose a holy curiosity."

The other question arising is about my lack of movement in the way of physical jetting about. This gets asked of me in many ways, due to my not accepting the invitations to Europe, Asia, Australia, South America, Canada, and Mars, Pennsylvania. I never exactly refuse, but say something noncommittal, because my curiosity wants me to someday, somehow, go.

I love to travel, but, I don't travel well. Simply put, physical travel takes a lot out of me, and I get quite ill, due directly to the way my astral-etheric and physical bodies are intercomposed. The symptoms are very like those I experience after a physical manifestation of spirit, which literally take a lot out of me. But I've learned how to prepare for such things - travel and mediumship - and how to take care of myself during and after - so there's no real excuse there.

The authentic reason is that there is something that precedes, and underlies, curiosity. It is basically indescribable, inexpressible, invisible. And yet it cannot be separated from us, so perfectly is it indissoluble, indivisible, inseverable, and integral to what and who Authentic Self is. Many "I" words there! They can all be gathered in under an ultimate "I" — immortality. How to define "immortality"? In The Risen, one of Tim's three suggestions about the "pastime of reincarnation" is,  "One’s reality is defined by three I’s ~ Individuality, Intensity, and Infinity."  Put them together, and immortality arises unending.

It is my feeling of being, and of being imbedded in my own immortality, supported by a conscious realization of oneness with everything — or the lack of separation with everything — that allows me to simultaneously be still and yet move. I have traveled not only to many beautiful places on the earth in spirit, but have visited and interacted with other intelligences throughout inexplicable dimensions, Risen and other, that never cease to send their own invitations in response to my curiosity.

All I ever have to do is to open my inner eyes and truly look — that is, seeing the truth — at what is before me at any given moment, whether it is a blade of grass glowing with sunlight, or the wetness of a cat's nose gently touching mine. These are also invitations to look more closely, to enter and explore firsthand my individuality, intensity, and infinity. No subway, taxi, jet, or rickshaw can do the transporting. As we say in The Risen, "worlds within worlds" — and as John Crowley said in an interview to my friend, Ron, "the further in you go, the bigger it gets". So perhaps I've not gotten to Budapesht yet because I've not come back from the blade of grass. It is said in The Risen:

"As beings of light we continue on endlessly—our immortal experience. This realization is of immense importance, for we are literally having our immortal experience in this very moment. Immortality doesn’t begin after we transition to Risen, but commenced when we first arose on this world, fired into life with a Divine Spark, to awaken and breathe and move up and out into this world, our earth. When one not only mentally accepts this realization about our immortality but is able to gain awareness of it and then feel the realization of it, life is experienced with much less fear and much more freedom. It is spiritually imperative to understand that besides having the experience, we must be able to observe the experience, to participate as observers, and to especially become aware of it by feeling it." (p. 27)

Perhaps it can be said that I am comfortable with and relaxed by my own sense of immortality — that indescribable gift — which is also the knowing that because there is no time, I have all the time to choose from. My curiosity moves me from where I'm at to where I'm at.  I always end up choosing to travel in-toward what is before me at any given opportunity of awareness, which is also an inexpressible gift.