Grief Transformed: Read the Chapter
A reader comments on our posting, "The Pastime of Reincarnation":
"Thank you for the information about this book, and especially thank you for the PDF of the chapter from your book on this subject. This is something that has caused me such untold suffering for the last 58 months, it is impossible to find words to describe it. It has utterly crippled me to the point that I have not even been able to function beyond getting up out of bed, and sometimes, not even able to accomplish that. When I lost my mother and dad because of cancer, never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that I would find evidence that they somehow continued to live, yet would lose them AGAIN ... PERMANENTLY ... to reincarnation. I won't go any further, but just know that the words I have written here do not even come close to describing what I have had to endure because of this.Dearest Bob – it is with heartfelt gladness that some of our words may have brought you a certain amount of reassurance and comfort. Although the grieving never stops; it can and ought to transform into a higher, finer kind of energy. Many people avoid asking and answering the questions about reincarnation that have haunted you, caught in a grey area bounded by unrelenting grief; yet the grey area, which is where all the true colors are, contains the way in and out; the way infinitely forward – the Truth of Reality. As you say, words just do not function well to describe your feelings.
Yet why don't we see any beautiful, heavenly colors, just dismal, dismal grey? It is with our spiritual senses – sight, hearing, and feeling – that we are able to experience the sights and sounds of the spiritual dimensions. If they are not active, then either our spiritual senses are inert, still in seed form and waiting to sprout and become functional, or they are shrouded and dampened by the veils of our deep, deep sadness, held firmly in place by loneliness, abandonment, panic, worry, and especially fear. In our book, The Risen, we go into great detail about how this predicament comes about, and how to begin to re-conceptualize our thinking so that we reclaim our kingdom – the domain of our mind, wherein we reside. We reclaim it from the ego-mind. Our book has suggestions about that as well.
This dampening of the spiritual senses disables us in several ways, which you have been experiencing for the past five years – physically, emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually. Like an increasingly expanding shadow, the darkness of the growing grief keeps us imprisoned in a kind of “frozen hell of numbness,” as is says in our book.
You need not be crippled – this is a false state of being that will keep you from moving forward, as your parents are now doing themselves - moving forward. It is also an act of unkindness to yourself, and unkindness is never necessary, especially to one’s self. Rest assured that they will never move beyond you, for they can use time differently; hence they wait while they grow, and you grow while you wait. Waiting, which takes place in the present, and which is where you and where your parents are, is a true virtue. Waiting is not patience, something that is a form of control, and initiated by fear of loss of control. Waiting is the ability to rest in time, while simultaneously moving forward, still at rest. “Forward” and “rest” are meant here as states of existence, which is another way of saying “dimensions.” The Risen loosely refer to such seemingly paradoxical states as “geographies.”
We would like to offer you another chapter, “Grief Transformed,” from our book.