The Lane of Love.

I (August) am often asked about what my current, ongoing relationship with Tim is like - especially since he made his transition to the Risen state almost two decades ago. It seems very odd to think or say "two decades ago" because I seldom think about our current relationship in terms of time; there's only "time" if I think about the past, which I sometimes do. But as Tim says, "I'm not there, I'm here."  So how do I experience Tim and this relationship now? I'm sorry to say you may be disappointed to hear me say that I really can't say; there are increasingly no human words for what Tim and I have become. But I'd like to try. Perhaps the best way is to share two very different astral experiences I recently had. Because there is memory of these experiences, my ego-mind has been able to come up with some language that makes fairly good sense to the terrestrial, conscious mind, and so a bit easier to relate here, however simply.

Experience #1 was seemingly very brief according to memory, but in actuality, was outside of time and so was buoyed by feelings of endlessness and limitlessness.  Tim and I were together in a car, with him at the wheel driving us around while we simply chatted. There was a great deal of bold and loud laughter, as a direct effect from the intense enjoyment of being in one another's presence. This enjoyment was so intense as to feel like a fountain of energy flowing through our very thoughts and feelings, as it rose in a continual rushing; it was a rush! I could not keep my eyes off his face as he drove, and felt myself being almost, but not quite, overwhelmed by my total love for this amazing being. The true meaning of "unending abundance" and "ever present prosperity" was being experienced directly with one another, through one another, as our individualities melted and merged into increasingly outrageous sensations of power and immortality; we could have driven on like that forever.

Experience # 2 occurred in a lower astral level of what might be called "sub-reality" - meaning not authentically "real" - but generated from memories of the ego-mind, and from  inauthentic feelings still resident in those memories of the past. It was much more dream-like, and much less alive. It's obvious that the experience was more of a psychological one generated from various and unprocessed, repressed fears and worries. I wanted to talk with Tim, but "he" had isolated himself by resorting to living underground. His only contact with the surface was through a pipe sticking up out of the ground. Some kind of "guard" sat next to it and relayed my request to see him by calling down through the pipe; he eventually, although reluctantly, came up to meet with me. He was distant, sullen, withdrawn, barely responsive to me; he didn't seem to recognize me. I woke up from the experience feeling rejected and dejected, but was able to resolve it through supportive analysis with one of my guides, who helped me realize that the experience wasn't real and that the ego-mind should not be allowed further access to it - the ego-mind would most likely use it for its own non-sane purposes for generating more negative feelings from me from which to feed.

Everyone will have their own astral-etheric-dream experiences of loved ones who have transitioned to other-dimensional states. One can become quickly overwhelmed and confused by the complexities of such experiences, but if one stays with the basic feelings: are they joyful, or joyless? - one can arrive fairly easily at what's real and what's not.  I recently came across a phrase I'd written down in a notebook, but not sure where it came from: "My head makes me suspicious; my heart frees me from harm."  I love this kind of idea, as it helps me keep my eyes on the road when distracted by things alongside seeking to keep me from my destination of staying in the lane of love.